Two days from now I’ll be 22, and I feel so old. Lately, I’m having hard time carrying too many loads unlike before when I’m a lot younger and stronger. Lately, I’ve been experiencing back pains, and headaches. Sometimes, it feels like my bones are crumbling, and some parts are colliding, and just might break soon.
Scientifically speaking, 22 is actually still young, it’s still near teenage years, more likely the boundary of youth and adulthood.
Music change me a lot.
Entering the line of 2’s is actually my favourite part of my life. It was year 2011 when I became 20. It’s when I learned and experienced so many things. Things that revealed my weaknesses and things that enhanced my strengths.
It’s when I learned how it feels to be valued by someone – what love feels like. I see the beauty of the world, things are clearer than they’ve ever been before. It’s when I learned how to cry without being ashamed of it; it’s when I learned how to shed tears.
It’s when I learned the feeling of being accepted and rejected, the feeling of being loved and left, feeling of being happy and depress. I learned to move to the rhythm of old love songs, learned how to stop when the music is not for me. I learned how to capture moments and let them go when they wanted to leave.
A person that is very dear to my heart.
It’s when I learned about the beauty of living, and the feeling of a dying man. It’s when I saw both peace and hopelessness, both joy and bitterness. I make myself eat like there’s no tomorrow, and let myself starve for days like I don’t desire for tomorrow anymore. I learned that life is not just about taking but also about giving. I learned that sleeping requires dreaming, and dreaming requires waking up.
It’s when I learned the value of friendship, the importance of family. I learned the essence of studying, and listening to your professors. I learned the reason why I should wait, and why I should go, or why I should stop. I learned that my life is worthless without happiness, but even more worthless without pains. I learned how to write and crumpled paper, to speak and to listen. I learned why I couldn’t just have everything.
After a tiring day.
It’s when I learned how it feels to win, and to be defeated, to be found, and to be lost, to be you and to be like others. It’s when I learned to trust, and be betrayed, to believe, and be disappointed, to understand and be misunderstood. I learned that life’s like riding in a Ferris wheel, it goes up, and it goes down. I learned how to be responsible, and to be reckless, how to stand and fall, how to manage and be managed. I learned how to take things for granted, and be taken for granted.
College friends. I miss them already.
It’s when I learned that friends wouldn’t always stay on your side, sometimes they will go in front of you, sometimes they’ll stay at your back, but sometimes leave you. I learned that beauty should not be only available by looking at it, but also by being with it. I learned that growing old is not about aging, but about learning. I learned that papers are nothing without pens, and pens are little less important without papers.
Writing has always been my hobby.
I learned that my life shouldn’t revolve around the sun alone, neither does the sun should revolve around me. I learned to be selfless, and to be possessive. I learned to accept things the way they are, and demand for more. I learned that I have unending problems, but I always have unending solutions to all of it. I learned that smiling shows more of me, but crying defines more of me. I learned how to dance in the rain, and to pray for sun to come out.
Enough reason for me to worship God.
It’s when I learned that my life is not perfect, but I should be contented about it. I learned that life is not just about being happy or sad, but also about being in the middle. I learned that everyday should pass, and everything inside every day has to happen. I learned that having this life is enough for me to thank God.
These are many reasons why I feel so old. Happy birthday to me!
Obviously, I own every photo in this article. I claim all the rights in this article.
My Thoughts 